The Gadgetron

Jealous alpha male monkey "attacks" man

2012-02-21T10:47:56Z

This is at the cafe inside the Memphis Zoo. The manager of the cafe told me that the alpha male monkey noticed me the second I walked in the door and started going crazy, because, as the alpha male, he feels threatened by tall males. So she told me to go stand by the window and turn my back on him and that he would "attack" me...

This is at the cafe inside the Memphis Zoo. The manager of the cafe told me that the alpha male monkey noticed me the second I walked in the door and started going crazy, because, as the alpha male, he feels threatened by tall males. So she told me to go stand by the window and turn my back on him and that he would "attack"

This is at the cafe inside the Memphis Zoo. The manager of the cafe told me that the alpha male monkey noticed me the second I walked in the door and started going crazy, because, as the alpha male, he feels threatened by tall males. So she told me to go stand by the window and turn my back on him and that he would "attack"

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Cirque du Soleil Will Perform at Oscars, Muppets Relegated to Presenting

2012-02-20T12:02:48Z

Last week, the Academy handed down the news neither of the two Best Original Song nominees would be played at the ceremony this year, meaning the Muppets would not be taking the stage to delight us all with a rendition of their nominated tune, as everyone but Fox News hoped they would. Boo! But despite the childlike joy the Muppets would have surely shoved in our ears with the sticks that support their limp arms, there remained the hope that the decision was part of a grander plan for the greater good: maybe this was a sign the usual tedium of the show had been trimmed to make for a more watchable Billy Crystal-hosted experience than usual? Or maybe they just wanted to make some room for some garish acrobatics smeared with greasepaint. Yes, that one:

That Looks...Better Than Half The Stuff In Theaters: A Gorilla With A Video Camera

2011-07-13T23:30:13Z

Time for my closeup!

I swear, actors: so vain. This is a video created by giving a gorilla a video camera in a special Kong-proof box. It's very similar in style to the BBC's Chimpcam series, except instead of chimps it's gorillas. I swear, somebody comes up with one good idea and everyone runs with it. Hey, that's what makes the world go round though, amirite? Kidding, I think it's magnets or something.

Hit the jump for a minute and a half of suck it, Michael Bay -- your ass shouldn't be directing anything but traffic!

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Gorilla is given a video camera, awesomeness ensues [io9]

Thanks to Gabrielle and berlex, who came up with the idea to give gorillas flamethrowers and let them into the hippopotamus den.

Impressive Toy War Between Father And Son

2011-07-13T22:30:38Z

If you haven't already seen it (and even if you have seen it that doesn't actually change what it is), this is a video of a father and son locked in an epic toy battle, complete with special effects AND sound effects. It's pretty cute and definitely worth a watch. Now I can't actually remember being five years old anymore, but in my mind this is exactly how I pretend-played with my toys. In reality though it was probably much, MUCH sadder. Just sayin', an imagination only goes so far when your coolest toy is a stick with a face painted on it. Isn't that right, Branchy? BRANCHY? There you ar-- OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?! It looks...chewed. "I was playing fetch with the dog." Dammit, what did I tell you about that?! "He licks his butthole with that mouth." And? "And I was just in it." Exactly -- now go wash up, we're playing space-rangers this afternoon.

Hit the jump for a worthwhile two minutes.

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EPIC WAR: Father vs. Son in a Brutal Micro-Scale Backyard Battle [obviouswinner]

Thanks to Terry, who's never had an epic battle with anything but his own wiener.

Netflix Movie Rental Favorites By State

2011-07-13T21:00:34Z

Note: Don't damage your peepers squinting, click HERE to see the map in its full-res glory, GLORY HALLELUUUUUUJAH!

Well with Netflix basically doubling the charge for having access to both DVD + streaming movies, what better way to celebrate the kick in the ass (they were actually aiming for your wallet) than a look at Netflix's 'Local Movie Favorites' by state? "Screw it, I'm going back to pirating movies illegally!" Haha -- now you're talking. Unfortunately, you're talking on an old telephone with a piece of glass between us. *mashing tits against window* THEY LONG FOR YOUR GENTLE CARESS.

US Netflix Local Faves [slacktory]
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Check Out the 'United States of Netflix Local Favorites' Map [nymag]

Thanks to chichi, who claims she doesn't care what she's watching just as long as it's under a blanket with her man. *sigh* So romantic.

Looks Accurate: 'Up' House Built In Real Life

2011-07-13T20:30:30Z

I've never seen 'Up'. I heard it was depressing in the beginning and I have a problem watching depressing stuff because I get down easily. Then stay there. Truthfully, I've never been able to pick myself back up after watching Atreyu lose Artax to the Swamp of Sadness in 'The Neverending Story' (links to you crying your f***ing eyeballs out for the rest of the day -- watch at your own risk, toughguy).

Bangerter Homes, the developer, sought out permission from Disney before building the 2,800 square foot Up! House replica (I'm actually amazed that they got the go ahead) and just recently finished the exterior. The interior still needs some work but they'll be following the movie's blueprints, if you saw it in the movie, you'll probably see it in this house. The developers are being mindful of every little detail--the weathervane, the garden hose, everything.

The house, located in Herriman, Utah, has an asking price of $400,000 and will open up for tours on July 29th to August 14th

The 'Up' house aside, WHYTF did I just watch that Artax video again? My whole day is pretty much shot now. I'd expect four REALLY depressing articles after this one if I were you. Knock knock. "Who's there?" God I just want to sleep forever.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots of detail reproduction and a video news report.

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This Real Life Up House Looks Exactly Like The Movie [gizmodo]

Thanks to LC, who knows the original Pixar concept was to have a house that burrows under the ground like a mole.

Of Course There Is: A Harry Potter Corn Maze

2011-07-13T19:30:40Z

I AM THE GREAT ORK MA, BOW DOWN BEFORE MY SULTRY GAZE.

This is a Harry Potter corn maze in York, England (hence the y'ORK MA'ze) made to celebrate the release of the final film in the series. Some people celebrate by dressing up as their favorite character and going to see a midnight showing, other people by making corn mazes. Hey -- to each their own. Except me. I want all of my own AND part of yours. Granted some might call me greedy, but those are just people I've stolen from that want their shit back.

Hit the jump for a shot of the whole maze.

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Harry Potter Maize Maze: Sending Him Off in Style [technabob]

Thanks to Marie88, who already has her Hermoine costume ironed and ready for tomorrow's midnight showing.

Holy Home Sweet Home, Batman!: An Ultra-Impressive Batman LEGO Diorama

2011-07-13T18:30:11Z

I can't think "diorama" without thinking "diarrhea", but that's probably just the 7-11 breakfast burrito talking. *BRAP!* Okay now that definitely was. "What'd it say?" Ha, what'd it say -- you're sick. It said, "I'mma set a new record for the GW Mouth to Ass marathon." But I digest, this is a super impressive Batman LEGO diorama built by Flickr user Orion Pax.

Always felt like doing something with all the collected Batman stuff.
So i did.
Approximatly 8000 - 9000 parts been terminated to build the cave.

68 bricks in height.
The base is 40 x 40 studs.

The Batman figure is again scaled up with Woody´s legs and arms painted black.

In the back there is a neon lamp to light up the cave.

Took me about a week to get this done.

Good lookin', Orion. No word if there's a secret sex dungeon somewhere, but if I had to guess I'd say Robin has his little bathole-tickling fingers crossed.

Hit the jump for some detail shots, but be sure to check out Orion's Flickr for some nice high-res versions and a ton of other builds (INCLUDING A MONKEY ISLAND ONE!!!1).

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OMGWTFMONKEYISLAND!

Orion Pax's Flickr (with a ton of other worthwhile builds including some Back to the Future, Ghostbusters and He-Man).

Thanks to Timothy, who once lured Catwoman onto his porch with a can of wet cat food.

You'll Never Woo Me!: Robot Mouth Can "Sing"

2011-07-13T17:30:23Z

Seen here looking way too much like a gaping b-hole to not be made out of a pig's rectum (just like hotdogs!), a robotic mouth (NOT armpit) developed at Kagawa University in (you'll never guess!) Japan belts out a ditty for the camera. It's the latest incarnation of this same robot mentioned last year, it just sings now. And I'm using the term "sings" very, VERY loosely. *ahem* Ke$ha/Katy Perry/Justin Beiber/etc. etc. I've heard dog farts with more talent, girls.

It's based as closely as possible on a human mouth, complete with an air pump for lungs, eight fake vocal cords, a silicon tongue, and even a nasal resonance cavity that opens and closes. Using a microphone, the mouth can listen to itself speak (or whatever you want to call it) and analyze what it hears to try to figure out how to be more understandable and less, you know, borderline nightmarish.

Oh man, you know what's even better than a robotic mouth that can sing? ~~ONE THAT SHUTS THE F*** UP AND DIES ALREADY, AMIRITE GUYS?!~~ Anything. I'd rather be towed behind a car on bare buttcheeks by the wiener, that's how serious I am.

Hit the jump for two videos, the first of the mouth making your ears bleed (read: a Billboard Top 40 waiting to happen), the second of a guy talking about the technology.

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Freaky Robot Mouth Learns to Sing [ieee.spectrum]

Thanks to Ad, who agrees there's enough automated robots in the music industry as it is.

Fail: Cookie Monster Cupcakes Gone Wrong

2011-07-13T01:00:27Z

You see the top picture? Those are examples of Cookie Monster cupcakes made by a professional (possibly in your local grocer's bakery!). You see the bottom picture? Those are examples of Cookie Monster cupcakes made by ~~yo momma!~~ somebody who doesn't understand you can't apply icing right when they come out of the oven. Or, who knows, maybe they're sick and were going for darker, evil-er Cookie Monsters. *shivers thinking about darker versions of Sesame Street street characters* IT'S EVERY KID FOR HIMSELF -- OSCAR JUST STABBED THE MAILMAN WITH A DIRTY NEEDLE!

Picture

Thanks to Michal, who said he'd eat them anyways because some of the best things he's ever tasted looked like shit. Mmmm, love me some no-bake cookies!

Let's bake something together (I'm thinking meth) on Faceybrooks and Twister

I'm Too High For This: Space-Time Invisibility Cloak Could Hide ENTIRE EVENTS From View

2011-07-13T00:00:30Z

According to a couple physicists who should lay off the ganja and drink more beer and buy me a round while they're at it, a space-time invisibility cloak could be developed that would allow a user to hide entire events from the eyes and cameras of onlookers. Haha -- I've batting my peen around like a helicopter but you can't see! "Um, yes we can." Oh shi-shi, daddy needs some new batteries.

Unlike invisibility cloaks--some of which have been made to work at very small scales--the event cloak would do more than bend light around an object.

Instead this cloak would use special materials filled with metallic arrays designed to adjust the speed of light passing through.

In theory, the cloak would slow down light coming into the robbery scene while the safecracker is at work. When the robbery is complete, the process would be reversed, with the slowed light now racing to catch back up.

Steve Cummer, a cloaking specialist at Duke University, calls the concept "interesting and exciting," but he thinks that actually making such a cloak would be "really, really challenging."

"Dammit GW, tell me you did not just post this because dude's name is Steve Cummer." *snickering* Of coooooooourse I didn't -- invisibility cloaks have Geekologie written all over them! Also: my tits in scars I carved with a pen-knife. I'm obsessive!

Space-Time Cloak Possible, Could Make Events Disappear? [nationalgeographic]

Thanks to Melissa, who's even more childish than I am. Aren't you, Melissa? "Goo goo gah gah." Okay now that's too far.

Ghost Owl Appears After Collision w/ Window

2011-07-12T23:00:58Z

*scratching beak* "F***ing forcefields."

This is a picture of some woman's home window after an owl flew into it. Rest easy though, the owl's apparently okay. Read: it wasn't found dead by the water hose. But it was late delivering a letter to a certain lightning-scarred wizard boy. YOU SHOULDA GONE WITH A STORK.

Experts said the silhouette was left by the bird's "powder down" - a substance protecting growing feathers.

Experts from the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) confirmed the bird was most likely a tawny owl because of its size and shape and the fact that they appear in gardens more regularly than others.

"This would have been very uncomfortable for the bird but thankfully it looks like it survived..."

Really? You think the owl found it "very uncomfortable"? Obviously you've never flown into a f***ing window before. Because I've run through a screen door before and THAT was uncomfortable. I want you to try running into this wall at full-speed and we'll see if you can't come up with a better adjective. *watches* Well? "...doooooctor." Jesus that's even worse than the first one.

Owl leaves imprint on Kendal woman's window [bbcnews]

Thanks to Rev Doc Dom, who doesn't fly into windows but will peep through them with binoculars if he sees you changing.

Insane Portrait-Taking Rube Goldberg Machine

2011-07-12T22:00:04Z

This is a 4-minute video of a massive, multi-room sized Rube Goldberg machine that culminates in the taking of a man's portrait (God, just ask a stranger!). I couldn't really find a screencap that would do the machine justice, so it's best if you just watch the video and see for yourself. Feel free to skip around though, you don't have to watch the whole thing. But it is all good. Like me the three days right before Christmas hoping Santa didn't have time to check up on me except last minute. The rest of year?

♫ B-B-B-B-Bad

B-B-B-B-Bad
Bad to the bone ♫

*smashes guitar, puts on sunglasses, blows kiss to a hunk*

Hit the jump for more ball-dropping, balloon popping, things rolling around and hitting other things action than you could shake a camera at while taking a picture and wind up with a blurry-ass photo. Plus a making of video.

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Rube Goldbery [2dphotography]

Thanks to michal, who agrees it's way easier when you have another person around to push the button.

Harry Potter Premiere's Burnt Hogwarts Cake

2011-07-12T21:00:32Z

SPOILER: Burnt Hogwarts.

Because everyone's beating their wienerly wands into a frenzy about the final Harry Potter film being released this week, here's the Charm City (of 'Ace of Cakes' fame) commissioned Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry cake made for the NYC premiere. Unfortunately, they made almost an identical cake back in 2008 for the release of Order of the Phoenix, so that's a -4 for originality. No word on what it tasted like, but my guess is straight ass. Fondant: it's not magical. Just sayin', you'd probably be better off downing a bowl of Lucky Charms with sprinkles in strawberry milk. Now that -- that's magical. Also what I eat when I'm stoned.

Hit the jump for another shot sans dramatic lighting, along with links to higher res versions in case you like your fondant up close and personal. I SAID SMASH IT IN MY FACE LIKE WE WERE JUST MARRIED.

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Higher-res versions HERE and HERE in case you want to torture yourself with a cakey computer wallpaper despite being on a diet.

Charm City Cakes on Facebook
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Here's a Photo of Duff Goldman's Harry Potter Premiere Cake [eater]

Thanks to Sara, who just says fondon't to fondant. Hey I'm with you -- I'M AN ICING MAN. Also: ass.

Hide Your Pecker, Hide Your Wife: Superstrain Of Antibiotic-Resistant Gonorrhea Discovered

2011-07-12T20:00:19Z

Seen here looking like your wiener's worst DO NOT WANT nightmare, a scientist holds a petri dish containing a new strain of gonorrhea-causing bacteria that's antibiotic resistant. What the -- stop being so cavalier with that shit and put some f***ing gloves on!

A July 8, 2011, report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urged doctors to be on the lookout for Neisseria gonorrhoeae, a bacterial strain that causes the disease and can grow and multiply, which is resistant to cephalosporin, a common treatment used for the disease that over the last decade has failed to, and to report the antibiotic-resistant cases quickly.

The strain is being classified as: Gonorrhea strain H041.

Wonderful, so now we've got super-STD's. And by we I mean you, because I'm as clean as a whistle that's never even been blown before. Yes, you can use that one on your friends but I better get credit for it. So yeah, super STD's -- like I wasn't already worried enough about the clap, now I've gotta worry about applause. God, please tell me there's not a standing ovation coming.

Antibiotic-Resistant Gonorrhea [ibtimes] (NOT irritable bowel but I thought that too)

Thanks to becca and Epithet, who encourage you all to wrap it up. And not just to prevent unwanted pregnancy BUT SERIOUSLY DO YOU REALLY NEED ANOTHER REASON?!